My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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