There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
