so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
