drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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