I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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