He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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