Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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