I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
