he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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