I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
