Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
