fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
