She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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