no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
