I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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