i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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