I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
where does the pee come out of this thing
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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