Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I enjoy the company of your penis
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
