hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
