I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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