dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
