I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
