I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
