Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
