She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
