You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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