Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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