I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
