you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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