we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
