just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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