Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
