I feel like abortions should bother me more
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
