Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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