I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think your dad took our porno
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
