Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My ass is underappreciated
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
