Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
