Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
