she smelled like a LAN party
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
