see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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