Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
