im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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