Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
