It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
