and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
