woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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