she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i've created a new STD.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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