We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
