There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
