What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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